whatever/is/lovely [phil 4:8]

Hello Tumblr. It’s been a while.

& life has been routine. I sleep. Eat. Work. Church. All day every day J

 So there’s kind of been no motivation to blog because that’s literally all I do.. and it’s nice to just relax with my family at night instead of being in front of my computer screen. I honestly think my eyes are starting to strain which is sad cause I’ve always had 20/20 vision.

Haha. ANYWAYS.

This bloggy is probably going to be my last “serious” blog for a while. I’ve been thinking a lot about social media. Everything and everyone is connected. People are on Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, Twitter, you name it!

And these are all great tools to communicate & advertise different thoughts, feelings, emotions, randomness, outfits, prayer requests, etc.

& I’ve been re-evaluating my own purpose in using different social media sites. As you know, I started this blog is to write down things that are lovely to me. to share what’s in my heart. To be vulnerable. To be an example.

& these are not bad things [at least personally for my own self].. but my mom & I were talking & she’s convinced that I may be TOO transparent. TOO open with the world wide web sometimes.

She tells me that it’s good to be a little mysterious. To have real live people PURSUE me instead of just “follow” me on my blogs, my instagram, my Facebook.

Cause everyone can admit = these sites are a great way to stalk someone that you probably don’t have a deep relationship with because pictures are posted & basic info is shared so we end up thinking there’s kind of no purpose to actually sit down & chat with them.

but that’s not how it should be. and i don’t care how technological this world is now.

I think that my mom is right. In regards to this specific blog, I have poured out my heart. & to those who have read some of my thoughts, I hope that you were encouraged. I hope that you laughed. I hope that it somehow made you want to go out and do something, be someone – being someone after God’s own heart. Someone that wants to run this race with me.

But when it comes down to it, I want more than just someone to read what’s happening in my life – I want you to be IN my life.

So this blog will still be here. & I will post certain things when my heart is convicted to do so. But I won’t be open this time… don’t worry, you can be still be my facebook friend. You can follow me on instagram. I’d love that! You can catch glimpses of my life on there.

But that doesn’t mean you’re keeping up a friendship with me. [or with anyone else for that matter]..

Pursue PEOPLE. Not blogs. Not facebook relationships. Not instagram followers.

just people. just their lives. their struggles. their pains.

March 12, 2012 / 5:33PM

I was able to catch up with the Dean from the Master’s College. He bluntly asked me if I was being a good friend to a specific person.

I was caught offguard & had to gather my thoughts before I answered him. & I truthfully told him that “I try to be.”

And he replied, “well keep trying. I know that it’s hard to keep up with friendships once you are out of school & there are only a handful that will be faithful. but keep trying. continue to be a good friend.”

& I was convicted.

There have been many many times when I have failed at being a friend. Sometimes I choose to be friends with people only for my own selfish gain. only when I am in trouble or need to vent will I call on certain people who have been nothing but faithful to me.

but that’s not how it should be.

a friend is someone that LOVES at all times. that PURSUES — from the little things to the bigger things. who faithfully seek you out to ask how you are doing, to pray for you, to make you laugh, & cry with you. who will be willing to LAY DOWN THEIR LIFE for you..

& the perfect example is Christ Himself. He pursues us through His Word. He inclines His ear toward us. He forgives us. He loves us. He sympathizes with us. He DIED for us.

& we are to do the same to those around us. to our own friends::

Besides unrepentant sin, there is no real reason to give up on a friendship. even if it seems one-sided, don’t look on that anymore. do your part to be a friend that faithfully loves, pursues, forgives, & prays for their friends.

Living out Philippians 2 :: with all humility let the interests of others be more important and above your very own. 

instead of talking all about you whether they be your praises or problems, why not just shut up & listen. why not take the time to think of your friends instead of yourself?

that’s being a friend. don’t you dare give up on anyone. even if a friendship seems to be changing for various reasons (location, they end up getting married, having a kid, etc), STILL evermore be a friend to that person.

text them. email. facebook. tumblr. twitter. geez we are all so accessible & technological in this world but we can’t even take the time to say “how are you? how can I pray for you” through text?

be faithful. pursue your friends. even if they turn you down PRAY for them because that is still being faithful even if you aren’t hanging with them 24/7.

I write this because I’m tired of friend drama. I’m tired to seeing friendships drifting apart, sometimes even dying.

no, I don’t want that. I want my friendships to be alive. to be CHRIST-centered, & not self-centered.

I want there to be vulnerability. rebuke. exhortation. building each other up. bearing each others burdens.

I want their to be love & forgiveness.

March 7, 2012 / 9:57AM

After months of preparation — The week that every pastor plans his entire YEAR around is finally here. Pastors from all over the world have gathered together here on our Grace Community Church Campus.

The joy, the laughter, and the smiles on these men’s faces are precious. They are excited for the time of preaching, worship, food, & faithful sweet fellowship.

It is refreshing.

Growing up at grace (as a girl especially), I never fully understood what went on at this conference. All I knew was, there are men/pastors EVERYWHERE.

But now that I am older & I work here, I get it.

The men that are excited to be here come to be refreshed. To be taught. To be rebuked. Exhorted. encouraged. & loved.

These men had the desire to follow the will of God, become educated in His Word, and later called to leave to be a pastor where God has specifically called them. Their goal is to not only live out the gospel, but to faithful PREACH it, & to love & serve the church — bringing their lovely wives & children along.

They carry the burden to do the will of the Lord. to shepherd the flock the Lord has entrusted to them.

This task is not easy. & we see in Paul’s letters to Timothy that he encouraged him to press on. To continue striving & preaching the gospel.

The church is not perfect & their are issues, pain, hurt, all because we are still sinners (saved by Grace alone)

& it is encouraging to me to see these men willing to come and be taught, to not lose hope or give up the calling God has for them.

Now i’ve been looking into my own role, as a woman (in regards to this all). All the ladies that work up here are secretaries/assistants to a specific pastor & ministry. and our role is to SERVE them in whatever way we can.

This week is another beautiful picture (aside from the marriage relationship) of women serving the men who are called to do the will of God, specifically in the church environment.

It is my joy to serve these men.. whether it is getting their lunches, cleaning after them, answering phone calls, etc.

Pray for these men who have come to the conference. Pray for their churches. Their mission fields. their WIVES & their children. Pray that the single guys someday get wives. haha, it’s so important!!

anyways, I should probably go do my duty & serve around here :)

March 4, 2012 / 6:20PM

Let’s face it. It’s very very easy to love people that are kind, like-minded, nice, easy-going, friendly, beautiful, sweet, hilaroius etc.

But it is stinkin’ hard to love people that are just plain annoying, rude, immature, “weird”, etc.

I’ve learned a lot about love these past few years — all different variations & forms of it — friendships, family, relationships, enemies, etc.

And even though the people we should love are different, HOW we love them should be the same.. — it needs to be genuine, Christlike, not self-centered or self-gratifying.. but selfless & humble.. the way Christ loved us — the unlovable. 

I guess I find myself having a hard time loving on certain people lately.. & it’s not even the people themselves, sometimes it’s more about more the situation I find myself in with that person.

It’s hard to be loving to someone that talks behind your back but is nice in front of your face. It’s difficult for me to grasp why we can’t all just be honest with each other (in wisdom of course, sometimes our mouths needs to be shut.)

I always try to be chill in situations when I’m being hated on and LOVE these people, but it’s hard. I’m still human, weak, & I get hurt & defensive.

I just want to love. I want to be loved. I want to talk with all honesty & love. 

I get it. I’m an unlovable. But Christ loves me. & by His grace I’m able to love others.. definitely not perfectly but I want to. I try. It’s not easy. why do people make it so hard to love them? 

& forgive me if I make it hard for you to love me to. but let’s talk about yeah? instead of grumbling in your heart instead of helping me grow in my walk & maturity? 

<3

March 1, 2012 / 7:26PM 

Do you ever feel like you want to run away? Pretty sure when I was little I would threaten my parents, “I’m leaving!” Then my little old self would pack a pink Barbie backpack with the essentials: my pink Barbie makeup kit, chapstick, perfume, some cheetos, juice.”

then I’d camp out in the front/back yard. (praise the Lord I was gated in). Hang out with my dogs, then get tired after thirty minutes then go back in the house..hahah I’m so embarassed. What a dumb thing for me to even say, let alone try to do.

& I’ve seen where I’ve been trying to run away again. Not from my parents, but from the Lord & His will for me. 

I think I’ve been planning wayyy to many things regarding my life. Example:

- I want to move out

- Check out a different church

- Find a different job

- etc.

umm really? God has so graciously provided an amazing job for me. I have an awesome church. and a loving family who are still providing for me!!

I try to defend myself & say that “I want to grow up. be a little independent. get out of the bubble I’ve been in all my life.”

& it’s true. Doing the same things, seeing the same people can make me feel a little trapped. But that isn’t a godly way to look at things.

I’ve posted this quote before but now I want to act on it “Wherever you are, be all there.”

God has me here. at home. at Grace Community Church (for work & my job). & I can’t try to run away from it.

Obviously, I can plan & give these dreams & ambitions to the Lord. But remember that the Lord has me at Grace & at home for a reason…many reasons really.

To learn from my parents. To save money while they still willingly/graciously provide for me. maybe meet my HUSBAND at grace. BAHA. but seriously.

I’m excited to see what the Lord has in store for me. But I don’t want to run away from His will and try to find my own way. No. I want to plan&pray & let God do HIS thing — HIS will in my life. I won’t run, I won’t complain. I will follow & Submit the way Christ His Son did. Not doing so means that I don’t trust in my Savior. Wouldn’t want that now, right?

Proverbs 16:9 - The man plans his ways but the Lord directs his steps. 

Proverbs 20:24 - A man’s steps are from the Lord, so why try to understand everything along the way?

Proverbs 3:5-6 - Trust in the Lord with all your heart, & lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him & He shall direct your paths.

Proverbs 19:21 - Many are the plans in the man’s mind, but the purpose of the Lord prevails.

The Lord says in Isaiah that His ways & thoughts are higher than my own. I will follow Him!

February 19, 2012 / 3:37PM

Hey all! so if you didn’t know, my sister & I both got iPhones. Such a sweet treat. & I realize that there needs to be caution in what I post.

I’ve got different social media websites : facebook, tumblr, etc. & now I have instragram (cliche I know).

& living in the world that we are in now, everybody has access to everything. I just want to be clear on the reason why I post what I post — facebook, tumblr, pictures, etc.

Facebook : I use it to chat with people. Definitely keep up photo wise / news-wise with others. & I post status updates about my life so that people can:

- laugh

- be encouraged

- be convicted

-know what’s up in my life

- pray for me

- hopefully be an example/testimony

-check out my favorite music

Tumblr : I have two accounts. One is a journal & the other is a fashion journal.

What I post on my “serious” one is so that I can be:

- Transparent 

- Open

- Encouraging

- Write out where I am at with the Lord {obviously not in full detail but with wisdom & discernment}

- Prayer Requests

- Random thoughts

My fashion journal is basically a bunch of pictures of things that I like: 

- Clothes

- Shoes

- Pretty pictures of beautiful people

- just things that I think are beautiful

- to show what are things that interest me

- my thoughts on fashion [as a christian girl]

Instragram: Pictures. I post pictures because

- I have family that are on the other side of the world who faithfully facebook stalk me ;)

- To show my involvements with my family, friends, & church to hopefully encourage others to be involved as well

- To make people laugh with my randomness 

I post what I post so that I can be encouragement. So that I can lift someone’s spirit by cracking them up. To introduce them to music that’s been making me sing & dance lately. 

I have been rebuked a few times for things that I have posted. & it’s humbling. People are watching other people. Making sure to keep you in check. To make sure that you re being a testimony. I hope that is encouragement enough to let you be cautious of what you post. 

also. have fun with it :)

February 16, 2012 / 8:26PM

Hello to all! I have not posted anything in a good while, but there have been a lot of things that I’ve been learning that I want to share with you.

& Tonight I want to focus on one thing:: Excellence. What is excellence? It is defined as ‘’extremely good: of a very high quality or standard.”

Recently, I’ve had different opportunities where I have been encouraged to be excellent in whatever I’m doing.

Now, to those of you that know me very well… I am the most laid back person. Especially in school, my motto was “Hey! As long as I pass with a C” or even “Ds get degrees!” And yes, I did graduate from college with a couple of C’s and one D my final semester. I just didn’t care. And I think the underlying issue in that is laziness.

Looking back, I can think of many different examples where I have done various tasks etc in a way that was mediocre, okay, whatever… whether that be in school, how I did chores, how I even took care of myself.

And now that I am in the work force, I have caught myself still engrossed in the “laidback” attitude. But really, sometimes being laidback is really just being lazy.

Laziness is dangerous. The Bible warns us in Proverbs of the sluggard & the ant. 

Proverbs 6:6-11 “ Go to the ant, O sluggard;

    consider her ways, and be wise.
⁷ Without having any chief,
     officer, or ruler,
⁸ she prepares her bread in summer
    and gathers her food in harvest.
⁹ How long will you lie there, O sluggard?
    When will you arise from your sleep?
¹⁰ A little sleep, a little slumber,
     a little folding of the hands to rest,
¹¹ and poverty will come upon you like a robber,
    and want like an armed man.”

I don’t want to be like a stupid sluggard that doesn’t work, or work without striving for excellence. I want to be like the ant that prepares & works hard.

The Lord has enable His children to have special gifts and specific talents. Talents & gifts that should be used for His glory & for the good of others (for believers to follow and do themselves, and for the unbeliever to fall and worship the true Lord through our testimony).

As I have been learning how to be excellent : I thought of different categories in my life where I know I can & Should strive to be excellent, giving my all to benefit others & to glorify my Savior.

Relationally : I admit, sometimes I SUCK at being a friend. But I know that I can be the best friend I can be with the Lord’s grace. Being an excellent friend means pursuing the other person, being quick to forgive offenses, quick to cover them in love, quick to rebuke, encourage, love.. Being an excellent friend means going above & beyond to make sure that the Love Christ has shown to me is very much shown to my friends. That honesty is the best policy when it is said in love. Being an excellent friend might also mean, seeing that my friend who is deep in sin will have to learn on her own and have the Lord take care of it. But that I am there the moment she falls, to pick her back up. To respond in the moment when a friend is in need whether that situation is small or big.

Family : being an excellent daughter means submitting to my parents without grumbling or complaints. Serving them without being asked to. Supporting them financially, spiritually, emotionally. Be excellent in praying for them daily that the Lord will keep them safe, bring upon them blessing & grace, hope & strength. Being an excellent older sister means, not thinking of myself but putting my siblings interest before my own (Philippians 2). It means cleaning up after them, even though we all know we are all old enough & capable to take of ourselves. To not be selfish.

Work : Being an excellent worker especially since I work in the church means, being a servant to the Pastor that I assist. To dress appropriate seeing that I represent the church, the pastors, & more importantly the Lord. To do my work efficiently and quickly (not doing things later out of laziness). I can learn how to be excellent on making sure that I pay attention to the “little things” such as making sure that I speak appropriately & kindly on the phone. That I greet the people I meet with a genuine smile & kindness. That I write emails/letters with correct grammar, sufficient information, etc.

Church : This is a big one for me because I can see that I’ve become very comfortable being a “chill” small group leader. That it can be just very monotonous to go to church, serve in junior high, say hi & sit with my girls and then check that off the list. I can be an excellent leader by pursuing my girls. By consistently going to staff meetings & events. By paying attention!

Spiritually :  well, obviously this is a big one for me. I am a believer. A Christian. Daughter of the Holy King. And I can definitely strive to be excellent in my walk with Him. I can be more excellent in my prayers, by consistently writing them down, & by daily being in the Word. By confessing my sins regularly, by repenting, by being held accountable by believers who know me love me & are striving to be excellent in their walk as well.

Personally : Yesterday, the secretaries of Grace Church had a seminar & the secretary of John MacArthur spoke to us about how important our job is. John MacArthur himself says that the qualities that they look for in who they hire anywhere in any department at Grace is that of excellence. People that show they are striving for excellence. I’m still learning…She also mentioned the idea of looking presentable. For those of you that don’t know. I don’t condition my hair, blow dry do anything to my hair except wash it. I don’t use face wash, I don’t wear makeup. But I can be a better excellent steward of my body by trying harder to take care of myself. I’m not saying that I’m not, but I can do more things to look more professionaly/older/etc. And trust me, I will never get into makeup, so I guess I’m going to stick with dressing well. Although my adornment should not just be external, but mainly in my spirit. I can be more excellent in my demeanor, my attitude, finding confidence in Christ.

Our whole LIVES can be lived in excellence if we strive to pursue that—we should be striving for that. Now understand, I’m not saying we strive for perfection. Because we will NEVER reach perfection until we are in glory with Christ. I’m saying to do all things with all you’ve got, with the grace & strength from the Lord. To do your best. Look your best. Being responsible. 

So that’s my whole deal with excellence. We can & should strive to be excellent even in the little things. But also remembering that perfection cannot be attained, at least not until we are with the Lord.

Colossians 3:23 :: we need to do everything heartily for the Lord, & not unto men. 

January 29, 2012 / 3:59PM

So, I went to Target the other day to buy chocolates for my mom. & the pink, red, & white hearts EVERYWHERE only meant one thing : Valentine’s day is coming up.

But instead of feeling all mushy gushy // anti Valentine’s day like most people.. It made me ponder on my own “love” life — and I’m not just saying with guys, but with PEOPLE — my family, my friends, my GOD, & yeah with guys.

My best friend & I had lunch this past week & we both were talking about how God has graciously prevented us from having boyfriends. And yes, you read that correctly, “graciously”. I say graciously because all the “almosts” SEEMED like it would finally be forever.. But when He didn’t allow it, essentially He protected us from real heartbreak & pain. 

& now that we are getting older & seeing things more clearly & in perspective, we are starting to understand WHY He hasn’t allowed it yet. (if it’s His will for us to be with anyone at all)

At least for me, I am realizing the need to practice humility & submission toward the first man that ever loved me [aside from my heavenly Father] —- my earthly dad. Or as I call him “papa” [say in asian accent].

I’m his first daughter. & he’s been the best dad ever. He’s worked different jobs to make sure I had everything I ever needed & wanted. He’s saved my life many times (I’ve nearly drowned, fallen out of a van, etc). He was with me when I went into surgery. He would massage my head when I would get serious headaches (and I still get plenty of those). He’s cooked for me, bought me food, carried heavy stuff for me. basically a blessing that I don’t deserve. 

And when I was away during college, I took my family for granted, my dad included. So when I moved back home around 8 months ago, I had to start all over again.

Here’s Papa Benitez deal::

My dad is a divorced man. He has had his fair share of broken relationships. So I understand that he’s strict about my own heart after being hurt/hurting others.

& when I say strict — he has the highest standards for my future husband. but first, he has those standards for me. He wants me to be educated. hard-working. submissive. careful. spiritually mature & growing. 

& he says that he sees that in me. but he wants me to keep pursuing all those things. He said “you aren’t ready to serve another man until you can prove to me that you can serve your family first.”

talk about straight up love from my daddy. & it’s true. i’m still proving over & over again that I can be a pretty selfish brat just with random things. I sometimes act like a kid because I am in the comforts of my own home. but::

I’m 21. I’m an adult. & I need to prove myself mature in my actions & my words. I am convicted over & over again. BUT I want to tie in actions w/ these felt convictions. I want to serve my family. I want to be completely selfless. I want to help them out, & I am starting to. I get really excited that I can pay for the things they need/want.  

& my parents are starting to see growth as well. There’s nothing else that they want more in life that their kids striving to grow up spiritually, emotionally, relationally, etc.

But they want to see it start in our home. 

So for the countless times that I’ve been asked, “Why don’t you have a boyfriend yet?” etc..

This is why:: I am pursuing to glorify Christ in everything I do. I am striving to be like Him every day. I fail countless times, but He is gracious & His mercies are new every morning. During this season of life, I am called to first serve my family. The relationship that I have with them [aside from the relationship I have with Christ], is what will help grow/prepare me for my FUTURE family —- my future husband & kids. I need to learn how to humbly submit to my parents before I can submit to any man. I need to love my family more than I love myself (Philippians 2!!!!). 

I will never “arrive” or be completely “ready” for a boyfriend. But it’s not like I’m just going to go into a relationship without pursuing those key things — humility, submission, selfless love, etc.

& I will not date a man who is not pursuing those same things.

anyways. that’s pretty much it.. 

January 24, 2012 / 8:14PM

So this post is more for the ladies. But you guys can read too ;)

—- I’ve seen countless tumblr/pintrest pictures that have the words “Keep it Classy” on it. 

What does class even mean?

[In the dictionary, Class is defined as :: a woman of class style, stylishness, elegance, chic, sophistication, taste, refinement, quality, excellence.]

In our modern day / culture, that means having expensive clothes, shoes, purses, shades, a nice house, a nice car, & money..

But the Bible defines class [of a woman] in a different way.

Think Proverbs 31.

A classy woman::

- is of noble character

- worth more than rubies

- her husband (& if you’re single.. think your family & friends) have full confidence in her

- she brings good, not harm all the days of her life

- she works eagerly with her hands

- she provides (not for herself but) for her family

- she helps the poor & needy

- she’s creative & uses her resources

- she is strong & dignified

- she is joyful

- she is wise & faithful

- people praise & bless her

- she is beautiful, but focuses on her fear of the Lord

1 Peter 3:3-4

- her adornment is not on the physical, but the hidden person of the heart

- gentle & quiet spirit

- this is precious in the sight of God 

& a classy woman seeks to practice the fruits of the Spirit. Galatians 5:22-23

- love

- joy

- peace

- patience

- kindness

- goodness

- faithfulness 

- gentleness

- & self-control

to conclude: it’s not wrong to be classy externally : with beautiful clothes & how you carry yourself. If anything, carry yourself with modesty&humility because you are beautiful. 

BUT it is a woman’s heart that reveals whether she is classy or not. It is a woman’s heart full of love for God & people that is more classy.

January 21, 2012 / 1:14PM

1 John 2:15 - “Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.”

This verse is true (well obviously it is from the Word of God). But I believe that sometimes, Christians take this to the extreme. aka become very legalistic. 

“Christian’s shouldn’t dance, cuss, drink alcohol, smoke, have piercings/tattoos, watch secular movies, listen to secular music, dress a certain way.”

 well, really? 

I’m going to be honest here, I don’t think most of the things that I mentioned above are sin. These are actually really good things. But because of sin, now have negative connotations.

[Be warned I’m about to go one by one on these issues, & they are my PERSONAL opinion. We ALL have our own convictions about these issues. But I don’t think we need to judge each other because so & so believes one thing, & you believe the other. WE ARE JUST GOING TO HAVE TO WAIT TILL WE GET TO HEAVEN & ASK GOD DIRECTLY. Until then, just get a grip people :) ] 

1) Dance. I grew up at Grace Community & went to The Master’s College, where dancing was prohibited. & I understand why dancing is looked down upon. Dancing is associated with bars, club hopping, getting just too close to someone of the opposite sex on the dance floor, sex, etc. 

& this is true. To prevent from any of those things happening within the church & a Christ following school — it should be prohibited. 

But dancing is NOT wrong. I mean come on, King David sang & danced for the Lord. Obviously, Christian’s don’t dance for the Lord now, but we do raise our hands & close our eyes when we sing, right? It can be a form a worship. Everything we DO must be out of worship for Him. & dancing can be that.

Dancing is an expression. I mean, look at ballet. It’s a beautiful form of art. Look at salsa dancing, it’s all about the rhythm & beat of the music. Even hiphop, it’s a amazing gift that not a lot of people are blessed with. As a Christian though, we need to be careful of how we dance & where we dance. & also WHY we dance is important. With everything, there must be wisdom.

2) Cussing. Okay. This one is more on the “don’t do” side of things. But it really is up to the believer & his/her convictions. Some believe that cussing is wrong. Some Christians are indifferent. Some are like HECK NO don’t cuss. Here’s the deal though: what comes out of our mouths is what is first in our hearts. Everything we say, we will be held accountable in the day of judgement. James talks about taming the tongue. Words hurt. Words are powerful. If we should be saying anything, we should be speaking in truth & love. Cussing is not the greatest way to do that. 

3). Alcohol. Look in Scripture, consuming alcohol is not a sin. GETTING DRUNK is. I, personally, don’t think it’s wrong to have a drink of wine (in fact it’s healthy for you). Jesus turned water into wine for a wedding :) I’ve tasted beer & it’s good. But again it’s all about wisdom & conviction. Some Christians choose to not drink at all (for various reasons: know people who struggle with alcoholism, etc). Others think that it’s fine to have one drink & be done with it. Remember though, “And whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” - 1 Cor 10:13.. If you know that you are going to make people STUMBLE because you are drinking, then don’t do it. Your testimony is everything. You are representing Christ. Drinking is not wrong, but the connotations it has BECAUSE of sin [getting drunk, acting a FOOL] should make us cautious of why we choose to drink, who we drink with, & where.

4). Smoking. Your body is the temple of Christ. You need to care for it and be a good steward. Smoking has bad health effects so why choose to cause damage to your body (that is not even your own but is Christ’s)? Romans 12:1 “Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.”

5). Piercings/Tattoos. I have the same argument for tattoos with everything else mentioned so far. It’s not wrong to get them. The question is “what are your motives? To look cool? To be like everyone else?” Your body is Christ’s. What you do with it should glorify Him. I know a lot of believers that have tattoos that are Scripture. That can serve as a testimony. But what’s hard is that if a believer was going to go into the mission field to a country where tattoos are seen as evil/bad, then it can HINDER ministry. (we wouldn’t want that right?)

6). Secular movies/tv shows/music. So on this topic, I’m going off of my parents beliefs & how they raised my siblings & I.

First, there are some legit movies & shows. They show the talent of directors, script writers, producers, actors, etc. It’s FUN to be entertained. But we should be careful and aware of how we are using our TIME & if what we watch causes us to try to think/act/talk the way is shown on TV (harvest sinful attitudes/ideas/thoughts).

But going back, my parents believed that “watching secular movies/tv shows is for our GOOD.” In a sense that, my parents didn’t want us to be ignorant of what is going on in the world. There ARE such things as drugs, sex, evil. Even if they are portrayed fictionally on a movie or tv show, it’s REAL. I knew a lot about the world at a very young age. & My parents decided that it was the best thing for us so that when we got older, we won’t be all CURIOUS to find out about the world and later become rebellious. My parents walked us through it all. They helped us understand why certain things were sin & dishonoring to the Lord. 

music —- I love music. I sing. My family has a band. I’ve been raised in a musical environment. I’ve been in different bands, singing both secular & worship songs. We need to understand that there are talented people in both the secular & Christian music industry. What you LISTEN TO is what you put into your mind, your thoughts, your heart, & eventually your actions. It’s not wrong to listen to worldly music. But if it’s affecting you in a way that causes you to think/act sinfully, then DON’T. I remember one of my friends told me she was on a music fast because “When I listen to country, it makes me want to be in love and make me discontent with where I’m at. If I listen to hiphop, it makes me want to get up and dance at a club or something.”

& that’s wise of her to know when to draw the line. 

7). Fashion. People are into fashion these days. I know I am. I like that I have the option to dress myself in a way that is appropriate/modest for different occasions. We all have our school clothes, work clothes, fancy clothes, church clothes. But geez, some people associate fashion with being vain & worldy. Again, it’s all about WHY you choose to dress the way you dress, HOW you dress, etc. Are you dressing to impress other people? Are you dressing to get attention? Are you being immodest (girls)? Are you being a total SLOB to try and show that you don’t care what you look like? are you spending TOO much money to buy things to make yourself look & feel good?

Well, again, your body & how you carry yourself is another way that people will notice you —- both believer & non believer. Dressing over the top NICE to get other’s people attention takes away glory that should be given to God. Spending too much money to buy that brand named item that you don’t need is not being a good steward. Dressing like a HOBO & not even showering is first of all, disgusting, & not being a steward of your body.

Care for yourself, not selfishly. But be clean, be modest, dress well because you know that it brings glory to God. 

Anyways, I hope this all makes sense. I know I went off a little randomly! 

January 20, 2012 / 7:58PM

One of my best friends painted me this picture of Ariel, the little mermaid, for my birthday.. 

[Her art work is amazing. & I am so thankful she made it a personal gift for me.]

If you guys don’t remember the movie, the scene portrayed above is when Ariel is singing “Part of Your World.” She wants to get out of the sea & explore the world that is above her (& all in the name of love!).

No, no.. I’m not in love. But I do understand the way she feels. She knew that there was so much more out there & she wanted to explore it.

I am a 21 year old, college graduate / currently working full time, & living at home woman. My days are spent in the office 8 hours a day & I am active in youth group. Weekends are my only free time. Now don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my job. I am blessed to be working in a Christian environment (my church no less). I have benefits. I have an amazing boss. Gracious co-workers. AND TRUST me, I love being home with my family. They mean the world to me. & church? Don’t even get me started. To have grown up in a such a solid-doctrine sola Scriptura church, I am truly blessed.

But sometimes, & more recently, I’ve wondered.. “Is this really it? Is this all there is to life? Work, come home, eat, sleep, church, eat sleep..?”

These are all GOOD things. Things that I know honor the Lord & give Him glory. But… I feel like I should be doing something more. 

my thoughts:: I am in a bubble [a good one]. but I want to get out of it, to go out into the world because they don’t know Jesus. To a world that is hurting & suffering. To hold the widow’s hand & hold the orphan in my arms. I want to teach them the Word. I want to come alongside those struggling to understand why they are going through trials. I want to LIVE out the gospel in a place where the gospel has never been taught or shown by example.

I came from Masters & now I’m at Grace. We have solid teaching. We have solid Christ-centered friendships! Other people /churches out there don’t have it, don’t know what that even LOOKS like. Some want to know, others don’t give a darn.

I don’t want to live in a bubble & not care about what’s going on in the world. I want to see for myself. I want to be used as an instrument in the Redeemer’s hands. I want to use every single gift that He has given to me to share the love of Christ & to bring others to His kingdom. I want to praise Him with every breath of my being. 

problem:: I’m not really sure how to do it. Or where to start.

solution:: I will pray for direction & guidance. I will seek wisdom. & keep my eyes & ears open for opportunities…

hmm. if God wills, I have my whole earthly life ahead of me. & I don’t want to waste it.

January 17, 2012 / 5:58PM

21st birthday weekend overview:

- January 13th : Sushi & down time with my girls.

- January 14th : Chinatown with my best friend & my family.

- January 15th: Ice Skating @ Pershing Square in LA, Roscoes Chicken & Waffles in Hollywood, a SURPRISE Tangled Lantern Lighting ceremony, then boba at Sanamluang Cafe in North Hollywood w/ the “Baws” crew. 

It was a great weekend of celebrating, fellowship, laughter, & friendship.

I’ve been so blessed with an amazing family & a great group of friends. They’ve given me so much > their forgiveness, their kindness, their love.

& praise be to God for allowing me to live another year. I want to live for HIM. I want to do everything for His glory. I’m 21. I’m young, I have gifts, & I have the drive to not live for myself, but for Him & to love others. 

Here’s to another year of life if the Lord graciously allows it.

January 11, 2012 / 9:53PM

I am exhausted. & I haven’t felt this way in a long time. Well, never mind, I guess since I just graduated in May, it’s only been about 8 months. BUT It’s a different kind of tired. I’m not tired because I stayed up till 3AM with 10 other college girls partying in my room. 

Nope. I worked. & today it was from 9:00AM -  5:45PM. I talked with people who were hurting. Dying. Tired. Happy. Sad. 

& all these emotions & feelings that they have became my own. But hey, I’m just the messenger. I just take them to the Pastor who bears these burdens. & he takes them to our Lord.

who bore ALL our burdens. He TOOK our sins. & if we believe in HIM as our Savior, that burden is lifted up from us.

COMPLETELY.

but we are still living in this rotting earth. we are still sinful [though no longer slaves to sin]. but praise the LORD that HE never gets tired. He doesn’t sleep. & the HOLY SPIRIT is constantly interceding on OUR behalf.

I’m tired. but the Lord is my ROCK & MY SALVATION.